Words of Wit or Wisdom -- Age has its benefits

Perks of being 50+

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

3. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

4. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

5. Things you buy now won't wear out.

6. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

7. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

8. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

9. You sing along with elevator music.

10. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY . . .

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.